Honesty in Making Claims and Kindness in Disagreement

    This blog is my personal observation, and it may be incorrect in certain matters. And it is important to say that this may be incorrect, because while the illiterate eras of humanity based their trust on passion and confidence, the learned era must place their faith in reason and the pursuit of the truth. Many times, the prophets and teachers of the past were wrong on certain matters, and all humans are incorrect from time to time. Some more than others. But you will never be rightly accused of lying by a critic if you are open about your uncertainty. Because when you are completely honest, uncertainty is very common, even if you are very knowledgeable. And if you follow a teacher, it is up to you to question their teachings to see if your experiences match, or to take them aside for consultation so that nobody is shamed.

    Those who are absolutely certain are still often wrong. Confidence is not a measure of accuracy. Whatever I say which you doubt, you are free to question it, disagree with it, whatever. Just don't be unkind in your disagreements with others. As God is endlessly patient with humans, so must we be patient to others. As God is kind with us, so must we be kind with others. Just as God is merciful with us, so must we show mercy to others. That is the way of righteousness. In all matters, God has the power to decide, and it is out of my hands as to what He provides to me or withholds from me. The wisdom is not mine, I'm just the delivery boy. I see visions and dream dreams, and must interpret them through what I know and experience. The dreams have mostly been for my benefit. And the visions have applied to others. And sometimes the visions show me the outcome of different possible decisions, so that I can make a good decision. It is not scientifically verifiable at the moment, which bothers me a bit, but then these things absolutely do have an explanation, and I just am not able to find it personally. And as we make progress, such things will be illuminated.

    Reluctance to declare that what you are thinking is the absolute truth is 2 virtues exercised simultaneously: honesty and humility. 

    It has been said of me in the past that I was this or that on account of my visions and insights: possessed, a prophet, a teacher, crazy, and so on. And I don't appreciate being put in a box like that. I'm a complicated person. And I don't claim that of myself. Were it not for having visions and experiencing God viscerally, I would be an atheist. But it's hard to be an atheist when you can literally have a conversation with God. It could very well be the case that it's my neurology gone haywire and none of it is real, but from my perspective, it is just as likely that my experiences are completely real and the counselors I have seen actually recommended that I start this blog. I don't know, and that is okay. And it's okay to say that I don't know. 

    Of course I wish religion could just be a social club like how everyone else experiences it. But I have always experienced it as very real. I have talked to God as my always present friend since I was a child. So I have never experienced religion as other people do. It's not just some stories, some songs, and a ritual here and there. It's not just a place to meet people and hang out. That just feels so fake and pretend to me. So I never fit in. I want to talk about what I feel and see. And the sensation of God's presence and mercy. I have never understood why people build ugly undecorated churches and sing without passion. Can they not feel God's immense and overwhelming love for us? Do they not wish to reciprocate it? Why don't they invite in the poor? Why are the lessons so basic and mundane? The average tiktok short has more depth. Why are orthodox the only ones still singing old hymns? The orthodox hymns touch my heart and soften my disposition. Can nobody else feel the words "الله بل معنا" (Alaha bil ma3na - God with us) like in the  Orthodox hymn? Am I the only one? The weight of the love is so great, but I am always alone in feeling it whatever church I go to once or twice. 

    I do have a message for humanity... if I take my visions seriously. But delivering that message in error would be a major sin. So I very much hesitate. And saying it is a point of no return. I'd have to accept the role that comes with it. And, I'm scared of that. Because if I deliver the message and accept the role that is part and parcel with it, It's a brave new world in terms of where humanity is going. The world gets bigger and the fate of humanity is grand and extended. Because it means that the world ends over and over and we remain upon it. Because it would mean that the process of God sending prophets repeats on a 6000 year cycle to push humanity forward. And there's a 2000 year overlap where the last 2000 of one cycle overlaps the first 2000 of the next cycle. And that right now, we're experiencing the bronze age collapse over again. And it would mean that a limited reincarnation takes place through the cycles. Not everyone. But, the prophets and saints are special. And the future I have seen would be real, and I wonder at it, that humans could one day do that. It's like a bronze age person saw Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. It's that different. And it would mean that this has been happening for over 1 million years, and we just had writing to record it last time. That the form repeats but the contents are adjusted to the times and their circumstances. 

This is too big for a human to bear. It is so heavy. The weight of billions. I guess it's why I don't have attachments to people. 

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