How I feel about having Followers

 It's weird. I feel weird about it. 

Like, it kind of goes back to my past lives, it was like this then too. I didn't feel worthy of the task. I didn't feel like I could do it. I was a failure at everything I tried except herding sheep. And then one day, bam! visions, dreams, talking to God. And then I was in the thick of it executing the grand plan of an unseen but irresistible force. 

It's why Saul became Paul. You have to reckon with the fact that you tried to use your royal birth name to support your damaged ego from being a failure at everything, and then God makes you feel like an absolute insect, and you change your name to what he told you to, and tell people what he said to tell them, and you feel very small the whole time. And every vision humbles you by its forcefulness and complexity and the weight of delivery. Saul is the name of the first King of Israel, and Paulus means small in Latin. So there you have it, humility. In my case, I use the name Joseph because I was told to. Originally, I was given the name of one of the 4 great High Kings of Ireland for my name. But I'm the reincarnation of the Prophet Joseph, and I have his knowledge of irrigation and arid land agriculture. 

And that's part of what I'm supposed to bring to the world, is how to repair the deserts and make them places where people can live without using petroleum. Kuwait, where Abraham was born, is basically uninhabitable because of the heat and lack of water, which is bizarre, because it's coastal land with the Tigris and Euphrates delta. Where did they go wrong? It should be a bread basket if they make use of irrigation canals. But instead it is mostly a barren wasteland with the hottest average summer temperatures on earth. They used to grow a lot of wheat and rice just a hundred years ago. And some of their canals are from the stone age. Like, it was a wet place before. It's literally the place where Agriculture began and the Sumerian Culture got its start and built the first large cities and civilizations. 

So I guess it is fortuitous that I live in a desert now. I can learn how best to build these earthworks, and write on it, and the followers would be a help since I am physically weak and have seizures. And practically, that makes sense. But now that the scripture has taken off and been shared, and some people are following me, that's a lot of pressure. And I have to write more guidance in case I have a stroke and can't continue. May God preserve me. 

They say those who have leadership thrust upon them are the best at it. I hope that is true.